Proud Mama moment 1,476: We watched The Prisoner of Azkaban last night. When I asked my son what he thought of it he said, “It was good…. but the book was way better.”
I feel like I have been successful at passing my deeply-held values to my child.
Shut up! All lies!! Lol, girl, where have you been?!?!
Ha! Well, I KNEW about the site, but I never bothered looking through it until a few days ago. We moved about a year ago and still have basically nothing on any of the walls bc I figured I would wait until I found exactly the right things.
I’M FINDING ALL THE THINGS.
Of course, I don’t NEED any of these things and I should be working and not looking through Etsy. So… please send help!
Umm… so I just discovered this site called etsy.
I had a patient in the clinic who really did not want an abortion but who had no resources to cover the costs of prenatal care or childbirth. She was single and without insurance coverage but made just enough money to be ineligible for state assistance. She already had outstanding bills at the hospital and with the local ob-gyn practice. No doctor would see her without payment up front.
We were willing to do the abortion for a reduced rate or for free if necessary. But she really didn’t want an abortion. Once I understood her situation, I went to the phone and called the local ‘crisis pregnancy center.’
"Hello, this is Dr. Wicklund."
Dead silence. I might as well have said I was Satan.
"Hello?" I said again. "This is Dr. Wicklund."
"Hello," very tentatively, followed by another long silence.
"I need help with a patient," I said. She came to me for an abortion, but really doesn’t want one. What she really needs is someone to do her prenatal care and birth for free."
"What do you expect us to do?"
I let that hang for a minute.
This Common Secret, Susan Wicklund
Crisis Pregnancy Centers often disguise themselves as medical facilities, with advertisements offering “help” with an unplanned pregnancy. Their main goal is to keep the pregnant person from having an abortion at all costs. Usually, all they’ll give you is a free pregnancy test, some baby clothes, and maybe a box of diapers.
The patient referred to in the quote was given free prenatal care and did not have to pay the financial cost of childbirth by a local anti-choice doctor. She would often stop by Dr. Wicklund’s office to let her know how she was doing:
"He (the doctor) always moans and groans about being tricked into [doing this]," she says. "Then he goes off on these tirades against abortion."
"This Common Secret" is such a phenomenal book. And yeah, crisis pregnancy centers are generally evil, so there’s that.
Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves.
This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently.
I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place.
I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place.
As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.
Q:Are there any atheist books you recommend?
I’ve been asked this several times before and it always stumps me a bit because I haven’t read many atheist books. The End of Faith by Sam Harris is probably the only one that could be considered truly “atheist.” It was a good one and it destroyed any last lingering doubts I had about my lack of belief.
In the past, I’ve asked for recommendations from my followers. You can read former recommendations HERE (just click the “show notes” at the bottom so you can read other people’s responses). I also posted books recommended by Susan Jacoby HERE.
I’ve read really good things about Atheism for Dummies by Dale McGowen (but haven’t read the book myself) and The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible is currently on my wish list for when our local Jehovah’s Witnesses come over for Bible study. The Magic of Reality by Richard Dawkins is great, but it’s more of a science book for kids (ages 8-80), not an atheism book.
Hmm…. what else…. any other recommendations for anon, dear followers??
There’s this shitty thing that happens when you learn about the reality of racism, sexism and misogyny. You start to hear it from the mouths of your parents, grandparents, friends and siblings and you can’t ignore it anymore but you’ll see how many of them will ignore you when you speak out about it.
You cannot buy electronics with food stamps. You cannot buy cigarettes with food stamps. You cannot buy pet food with food stamps. You cannot withdraw money with an EBT card (food stamps).
Do you know what else you can’t buy with food stamps? Shampoo, soap, laundry detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, tissues, tinfoil, plastic sandwich bags, toothpaste, cleaning products, tampons, pads, over the counter medications (such as Tylenol, Ibuprofen, etc.), and anything else you can think of that you cannot physically ingest for nutritional purposes.
Do you know what you can buy with food stamps? Food.
Do you know what it’s like to scrounge for change to buy non-edible necessities, use a credit card and EBT card (food stamps) during the same transaction, and then have the person in line behind you judge you for buying the ingredients to make a birthday cake?
People who disseminate false information about food stamps have never had to use food stamps.
DITTO THE PREACH.
A quick “Thank You” to everyone that responded to my mini-poll yesterday! Though there were a few outliers, it seems like my hypothesis was mostly correct: straight identities were acknowledged between 8-12, gay/lesbian/bi were mostly between 12-18 and pan/asexual/demi/other were 16-25+. Everyone that commented on it also seemed to agree that representation and education would have helped tremendously and could have eliminated a lot of confusion and stress from their childhood.
I also received lots of messages and questions yesterday, but I probably won’t get to them until tomorrow. Just a friendly FYI so no one continuously checks here and wonders why I’m not responding.
So, again, thank you to all that responded! I hope everyone has a peaceful/productive/perfect/party-filled/<insert positive adjective> day.
Q:If your son continues with his ambition to be president, I would like you (him?) to know that I will most certainly vote for him.
Ha! I’ll let him know he has two votes already. :-D
Only…what… like 65 million more to go?
Q:One of the weird things about being straight is that it's assumed to be the default so I never had a moment of "realizing" that I'm straight; I just happened to fit the assumed default so I didn't usually give it much thought. Admittedly, this isn't a direct answer to the poll question but it's an odd quirk of societal assumptions.
That’s exactly why I asked!
It’s slowly changing, thank goodness, but you’re right. When I was growing up it was just assumed everyone was straight. I started being interested in boys around 3rd or 4th grade (between 9 and 11) and I’m curious if that’s the average age AND if the average age is the same for people that identify as gay/lesbian/bi/asexual/etc.
My hypothesis is that the average identifying age for non-hetero individuals might be a little older, mainly because many have to first go through a “why am I different” or a “what’s wrong with me” stage. Then, of course, I springboard to Why Representation Matters and Why Accurate Sex Education Matters and Why Parents Should Shut The Fuck Up About The Evils of Homosexuality Because Your Own Child Might Be Struggling With His/Her Identity Right Now And You’ve Just Become His/Her First Bully And That Makes Me SO ANGRY.
Polling the audience:
At what age did you know you were straight/lesbian/gay/bisexual/pansexual/<insert your sexuality here>?