What Women Deserve - Sonya Renee
(Originally found on Upworthy’s fb page)
PERFECT. Perfect. Perfect.
u know everyone always talks about sexual tension but is there such a thing as platonic tension
like ‘wow youre really cool and funny and i want to be your friend but i dont feel like we’re there yet im just gonna stand here and hope you engage me in conversation’
Does giving up a baby for adoption erase all the extra personal expenses shelled out over the course of a pregnancy? Does it magically restore any pay or chance at advancement that you might have lost? Does the act of adoption fully return your body to its pre-pregnancy, uninjured state, such that you don’t need time off work to recover afterward? Does it decrease the cost of taking care of pregnancy-induced diabetes or other pregnancy-related conditions that don’t heal up right away? I don’t think so.
….yeah… All this.
My pregnancy with my son was totally uneventful but my pregnancy with my daughter was months of nausea, joint pain, back pain, rib pain, zero appetite which meant every meal was a forced meal, $85,000 worth of medical expenses associated with an early labor and a hospital stay, time off from work (obviously), a traumatic delivery that literally could have killed me, and complications with the epidural which resulted in migraines that kept me bedridden for weeks. Pregnancy can also permanently change your eyesight, your body shape (which then requires a whole new wardrobe), your skin and your hair.
Let’s see… what else… oh! The REALLY awesome stuff you can get from pregnancy: chronic constipation, incontinence, hemorrhoids, varicose veins, stretched abdominal muscles which then make hernias more likely, vaginal tearing, and postpartum depression! Woo hoo!
So FUCK YES I’m pro-choice. Making laws that force a woman to go through a pregnancy against her will doesn’t just make you an asshole, it makes you evil. ~JJ
The problem that needs to be fixed is not kick all the girls out of YA, it’s teach boys that stories featuring female protagonists or written by female authors also apply to them. Boys fall in love. Boys want to be important. Boys have hopes and fears and dreams and ambitions. What boys also have is a sexist society in which they are belittled for “liking girl stuff.” Male is neutral, female is specific.
I heard someone mention that Sarah Rees Brennan’s THE DEMON’S LEXICON would be great for boys, but they’d never read it with that cover. Friends, then the problem is NOT with the book. It’s with the society that’s raising that boy. It’s with the community who inculcated that boy with the idea that he can’t read a book with an attractive guy on the cover.
Here’s how we solve the OMG SO MANY GIRLS IN YA problem: quit treating women like secondary appendages. Quit treating women’s art like it’s a niche, novelty creation only for girls. Quit teaching boys to fear the feminine, quit insisting that it’s a hardship for men to have to relate to anything that doesn’t specifically cater to them.
Because if I can watch Raiders of the Lost Ark and want to grow up to be an archaeologist, there’s no reason at all that a boy shouldn’t be able to read THE DEMON’S LEXICON with its cover on. My friends, sexism doesn’t just hurt women, and our young men’s abysmal rate of attraction to literacy is the proof of it.
If you want to fix the male literary crisis, here’s your solution:
Become a feminist.
What do you think science is? There’s nothing magical about science. It is simply a systematic way for carefully and thoroughly observing nature and using consistent logic to evaluate results. Which part of that exactly do you disagree with? Do you disagree with being thorough? Using careful observation? Being systematic? Or using consistent logic?
When you go out into the woods and you look at trees, you see all these different trees. And some of them are bent, and some of them are straight, and some of them are evergreens, and some of them are whatever. And you look at the tree and you allow it. You appreciate it. You see why it is the way it is. You sort of understand that it didn’t get enough light, and so it turned that way. And you don’t get all emotional about it. You just allow it. You appreciate the tree. The minute you get near humans, you lose all that. And you are constantly saying ‘You’re too this, or I’m too this.’ That judging mind comes in. And so I practice turning people into trees. Which means appreciating them just the way they are.
You are personally responsible for becoming more ethical than the society you grew up in.
Look back again at the pale blue dot of the preceding chapter. Take a good long look at it. Stare at the dot for any length of time and then try to convince yourself that God created the whole Universe for one of the 10 million or so species of life that inhabit that speck of dust. Now take it a step further: Imagine that everything was made just for a single shade of that species, or gender, or ethnic or religious subdivision. If this doesn’t strike you as unlikely, pick another dot. Imagine it to be inhabited by a different form of intelligent life. They, too, cherish the notion of a God who has created everything for their benefit. How seriously do you take their claim?
Because that’s the thing about Scooby-Doo: The bad guys in every episode aren’t monsters, they’re liars. I can’t imagine how scandalized those critics who were relieved to have something that was mild enough to not excite their kids would’ve been if they’d stopped for a second and realized what was actually going on. The very first rule of Scooby-Doo, the single premise that sits at the heart of their adventures, is that the world is full of grown-ups who lie to kids, and that it’s up to those kids to figure out what those lies are and call them on it, even if there are other adults who believe those lies with every fiber of their being. And the way that you win isn’t through supernatural powers, or even through fighting. The way that you win is by doing the most dangerous thing that any person being lied to by someone in power can do: You think.
-Ask Chris #81: Scooby-Doo and Secular Humanism (via missshirley)
A little-known bit of trivia which DD may not have mentioned - writing scripts for Scooby-Doo* financed the unpaid time needed to write So You Want To Be A Wizard.
(*She had nothing to do with introducing Scrappy…) (via ozymandias314)
Oh my goodness… this could be an entire book. But to keep things (relatively) short, the best answer is Maybe, which isn’t very satisfying, I know.
Social anxiety has numerous causes. There are brain/chemical factors to anxiety, experiences that can trigger forms of anxiety, and learned behaviors that are associated with social anxieties. Family conflict and abuse are also connected; you are at a much higher risk of all forms of mental health conditions if you have these negative experiences as a child.
All the articles I linked to (and the research those articles linked to) show a correlation between childhood spanking and adult mental health struggles. The more severe the abuse, the more likely the mental health issues. But remember, correlation doesn’t equal causation and determining that spanking is the direct cause of a mental health issue be impossible. (You would have raise two groups of kids exactly the same EXCEPT punish one group with spanking and the other group with no spanking, but keep every other variable the same. Obviously this is ethically questionable and would be impossible to do.)
What spanking a child does is teach improper behaviors and responses to anger. When a child misbehaves and is spanked as a result, the “lessons” could be: a) hide the behavior so you don’t get hurt, b) when you’re upset with someone you should hit them, c) when someone is upset with you, you will get hurt, d) anger is something that cannot be expressed in a healthy way.
Or, in mental health terms, a) passive-aggressiveness or manipulation, b) violence or aggression, c) avoidance or social anxieties, and d) depression.
I know I’ve spent a good chunk of my adult life unlearning “lessons” I was taught as a child. You might have to spend a bit of time unlearning the behaviors and responses that were taught to you as well. That’s the best answer I can give you. :-/