Hi! I'm JJ (aka Mama JJ). I'm a secular parent, an atheist and a feminist. I'm fiercely pro-choice and about as far left as you can get on the Liberal to Conservative scale. If you hang out with me you'll get thoughts on all of these subjects and occasionally excerpts from conversations with my 9-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter. I tag all of the conversations with "heard today" (links up above) and all the parenting stuff gets tagged with "Secular Parenting." My URL comes from the phrase "Teach children how to think, not what to think" which is my parenting philosophy in a nutshell. If you have a question, my inbox is always open and anon is usually on. Welcome!
Asker Anonymous Asks:
sorry if too personal or inappropriate but where exactly in the "holy" books does it condemn masturbation?
teachthemhowtothink teachthemhowtothink Said:


The Quran doesn’t say anything about masturbation, only vague passages that some people have interpreted to mean it’s about masturbation. The Bible also works the same way, it doesn’t come out and say don’t masturbate, it just has vague passages about some random crap, and people interpret it to mean whatever they want it to mean. This is why religion is so dangerous. You can read an allegorical passage, something under the lines of, “when a flower grows the water fills the cups”, someone will interpret that to mean “using condoms is wrong”.

I’ve never seen any life transformation that didn’t begin with the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit.
Elizabeth Gilbert  (via hannahsofia)

(via jkeith757)

One of the most sinister things about normalized racism is you don’t have to have bad intentions to be racist, you just have to remain ignorant.



can we just start a movement where we go to male politicians events and we ask them sexist questions like “if you are elected who will take care of the kids” and “what designer are you wearing tonight” “do you think that your stunted and constipated male emotions will affect your decision making”

that last one tho

(via thebrazilianatheist)

It’s important to study the effects of allies’ actions for another reason: The positive attention we direct toward these white, straight, male allies for their intentions may be less than desirable. The best way to think of this may be in terms of what sociologist Arlie Hochschild calls the “economy of gratitude.” When she studied the division of household labor in the 1980s in her now famous book, The Second Shift, Hochschild was interested in how American couples divided up work in the home, both physically and emotionally. In the book, she discusses the ways that women’s movement into the workplace was accompanied by continued expectations of domestic upkeep, constituting what Hochschild calls the “second shift.” She found that the home was characterized by an “economy of gratitude”—the ways couples express appreciation to one another for performing the more onerous elements of household maintenance.

In her research, Hochschild found that husbands were often given more gratitude for their participation in work around the house than were women. That is, men were subtly—but systematically—“over-thanked” for their housework in ways that their wives were not. This simple fact, argued Hochschild, was much more consequential than it might at first appear. It was an indirect way of symbolically informing men that they were engaging in work not required of them. In fact, we have a whole language of discussing men’s participation in housework that supports Hochschild’s findings. When men participate, we say they’re “helping out,” “pitching in,” or “babysitting.” These terms acknowledge their work, but simultaneously frame their participation as “extra”—as more of a thoughtful gesture than an obligation.

We would suggest that something similar is happening with straight male allies. We all participate in defining the work of equality as not their work by over-thanking them, just like housework is defined as not men’s work. By lauding recognition on these “brave” men in positions of power (racial, sexual, gendered, and in some cases classed) we are saying to them and to each other: This is not your job, so thank you for “helping out” with equality.

Mind opened by wonderhttp://proud-atheist.tumblr.com

Secular Parenting 101.1


Mind opened by wonder

Secular Parenting 101.1

(via melzwhimzy)


Republicans watching gay pride parade

I think I just snorted.

(via trxsxrms)

Somehow, I know the difference. But yeah, the whole socialization aspect is ridiculous.

I’m sure tons of guys know the difference, but I don’t know a single woman that doesn’t know, and that’s really sad.

If you are a woman that does not know what mascara or eyeliner is, please share how you managed to avoid that information!  Perhaps your strategy can be replicated?

So you know that tumblr post about makeup that says something like “and at that moment I realized men do not understand what makeup looks like” and then the comment under it says something like “guys don’t even know the difference between mascara and eyeliner”

I can’t find it right now, but I know it crossed my dash at least 5 or 6 times.

ANYWAY.  I almost never wear any makeup, but I put some on today for fun and asked my husband, “do you like my eyeliner?”

He stared at my face for a few seconds then said, “I’m sorry, but what’s eyeliner?”

"Liner.  For your eye.  The black line right above my mascara."

He stared again.  ”…. mascara?  Are you wearing any?  Isn’t that the stuff that goes up here?”  He pointed vaguely up by his eyebrow.  

Holy shit.  Tumblr was right!

"You seriously don’t know?"

"Should I?"

"I guess not… but it makes me angry that you don’t and I do.  That I was socialized to think I need it and you weren’t."

"Well you obviously don’t need any eye mascara or whatever, but if you like it, I like it.”  He kissed my forehead.  ”You’re beautiful.  Eye gunk or not.”

"Very smooth."  


I passed a car today that had huge letters saying “I’M COVERED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS!”

uhhh….ew? also, I hope they have insurance too because I don’t think you can file a claim with Jesus’ blood

What can make me whole agaiiinnnnnn?

Nothing but the blood of Jeeeeeeesus!

I’m not a Gervais fan, but this quote is spot on.

(via divineirony)




omg, I’ve got this mormon (on facebook) trying to tell me that choosing to believe that there is more to the universe than just our solar system is the same as choosing to believe that the bible is the word of god.

*face palm* can you say false equivalency? 

"The thing about science is that it’s true whether or not you believe in it" NdGT

Trying to figure out a nice way to tell them they’re full of shit.

Believing the Bible is the word of god requires faith.  The accepted definition of faith is a belief unsupported by evidence.

Believing there is more to the universe than just our solar system requires only the acceptance of an abundant amount of evidence, not faith.

Or you could just say “I’m sorry, but you’re full of shit.”  :-D


faith person is now saying that faith is part of the scientific method “Every scientist that ever had a theory had faith that they were right and they had to keep working at it and be patient for their proof.”

They seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding of what the scientific method is (and this person is an elementary school teacher, omfg).

Carl Sagan on science: “It’s not perfect.  It can be misused.  It is only a tool.  But it is, by far, the best tool we have, self-correcting, ongoing, applicable to everything.  It has two rules.  First: There are no sacred truths;  Second: whatever is inconsistent with facts must be discarded or revised.”

Faith (belief without evidence) has absolutely no place in the scientific method and you’re right - anyone that thinks it does has a complete and fundamental misunderstanding of what science is.  

6 weeks away is WAY too long.


Mysteriously similar to random chance.