Hi! I'm JJ (aka Mama JJ). I'm a secular parent, an atheist and a feminist. I'm fiercely pro-choice and about as far left as you can get on the Liberal to Conservative scale. If you hang out with me you'll get thoughts on all of these subjects and occasionally excerpts from conversations with my 9-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter. I tag all of the conversations with "heard today" (links up above) and all the parenting stuff gets tagged with "Secular Parenting." My URL comes from the phrase "Teach children how to think, not what to think" which is my parenting philosophy in a nutshell. If you have a question, my inbox is always open and anon is usually on. Welcome!

By popular request: this is what my husband and I used for our marriage ceremony, but I can’t take any credit for it whatsoever.  The woman who married us suggested it and I thought it was perfect.  ~JJ

In marriage, walk the path side by side,

together, whenever possible.

Remember to hold each other when it is cold.

If the air becomes too close,

make a little space so each can breathe.

When the path is narrow, pick one to go first.

Always be willing to follow; don’t be afraid to lead.

Trust your partner; trust yourself,

for marriage is a journey that leads to great love.

I accept you as my spouse with this promise:

I promise to respect you;

to give you love and support at all times.

I promise to never take you for granted,

to give you my love openly and honestly.

I promise to build our marriage on a foundation

of trust and respect, of faithfulness and of forgiveness.


Marriage is the joining of two people; the union of two hearts.

It lives in the love we give each other and never grows old.

It thrives on the joy of each new day.

May we always be attentive

to the wonder of our marriage.

May we always be able to talk things over,

to confide in one another, and to laugh with each other.

May we enjoy life together and share moments

of quiet peace when the day is done.


May we create a lifetime of happiness.

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