TeachThemHowToThink

Hi! I'm JJ (aka Mama JJ). I'm a secular parent, an atheist and a feminist. I'm fiercely pro-choice and about as far left as you can get on the Liberal to Conservative scale. If you hang out with me you'll get thoughts on all of these subjects and occasionally excerpts from conversations with my 9-year-old son and 4-year-old daughter. I tag all of the conversations with "heard today" (links up above) and all the parenting stuff gets tagged with "Secular Parenting." My URL comes from the phrase "Teach children how to think, not what to think" which is my parenting philosophy in a nutshell. If you have a question, my inbox is always open and anon is usually on. Welcome!
Posts tagged "bible stories"

My son:  Mom?  I wish you went to an ancient Greek church when you were little so we could have… what’s this writing called again?

Me:  Embossing.  Embossed lettering.

My son:  So we could have embossed Greek Myths books instead of embossed Bibles.

Me:  Me too.  That would be fantastic.

My son:  Do you think someday there will be books of Bible Myths and kids will read them and laugh that people used to believe that stuff?

Me:  I’m almost certain that will be the case.

My son:  Do you think it will happen before I die?

Me:  Hmm… tough question.  I don’t know of any books like that right now, but there’s nothing stopping someone from writing one.  And lots of people already laugh when they read Bible myths.  But to get to a consensus….  (a consensus means everyone will mostly agree).  I don’t think there will be a consensus that the Bible god is a myth within 100 years.  So I guess my answer is that lots of kids will laugh when they read them, but not all of them.  That will take longer than my life and yours, I think.

My son:  Can 9 year olds write books?

Me:  Of course.

My son:  Could I write a book of Bible myths?

Me:  Absolutely.

My son:  Would you help me?

Me:  I could definitely help you if you needed it.

My son:  Maybe we could call it People Used to Believe This Was True But Now We Know It’s Mostly Just Myths

Me:  That’s a little wordy for a title.

My son:  Bible Myths for Kids?

Me:  Much more concise.  I like it.

My son:  This will be fun!

Want the whole thing?  ‘Cause it’s really an awesome example of God’s Perfect Love:
Deuteronomy 22:13-21
 

13 If a man takes a wife and, after sleeping with her, dislikes her 14 and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, “I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity,” 15 then the young woman’s father and mother shall bring to the town elders at the gate proof that she was a virgin. 16 Her father will say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. 17 Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.’ But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.” Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, 18 and the elders shall take the man and punish him. 19 They shall fine him a hundred shekels[a] of silver and give them to the young woman’s father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.
20 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, 21 she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.

This is the word of the Lord.  Thanks be to God.  
Should I file this one under Great Bible Stories for Kids?  I think I should.  ~JJ

Want the whole thing?  ‘Cause it’s really an awesome example of God’s Perfect Love:

Deuteronomy 22:13-21

 

13 If a man takes a wife and, after sleeping with her, dislikes her 14 and slanders her and gives her a bad name, saying, “I married this woman, but when I approached her, I did not find proof of her virginity,” 15 then the young woman’s father and mother shall bring to the town elders at the gate proof that she was a virgin. 16 Her father will say to the elders, “I gave my daughter in marriage to this man, but he dislikes her. 17 Now he has slandered her and said, ‘I did not find your daughter to be a virgin.’ But here is the proof of my daughter’s virginity.” Then her parents shall display the cloth before the elders of the town, 18 and the elders shall take the man and punish him. 19 They shall fine him a hundred shekels[a] of silver and give them to the young woman’s father, because this man has given an Israelite virgin a bad name. She shall continue to be his wife; he must not divorce her as long as he lives.

20 If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman’s virginity can be found, 21 she shall be brought to the door of her father’s house and there the men of her town shall stone her to death. She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father’s house. You must purge the evil from among you.

This is the word of the Lord.  Thanks be to God. 

Should I file this one under Great Bible Stories for Kids?  I think I should.  ~JJ

(via divineirony)

These “In The Bible” things of yours are my favorites, ummagumma.  <3

HAHA!

Now the David and Goliath post is getting a bunch of hits from people looking for “Bible stories for kids David and Goliath.”

This amuses me greatly.

(Also, add David and Goliath to the list of stories that are NOT great for kids.  Bet most of you don’t know the real version?)

//rant ahead

I installed a stat counter on my site around a year ago and people querying “great bible stories for children abraham and isaac” land on this page frequently.  I don’t check the stats very often, but I would say it happens 10-20 times a week.

I used to feel a little bit guilty about this, but I read the story again this morning and it pisses me the fuck off that parents are teaching this shit to THEIR CHILDREN.  I hope, just maybe, these parents don’t immediately click off the page and actually take a moment to read what I wrote and think about it.  Wake the fuck up and realize teaching their kids that KILLING A CHILD because a voice in their head told them to is wonderful and worthy of their God of Love’s admiration, just might not be a great lesson. 

That maybe, just maybe, their God of Love isn’t really a God of Love.  It’s a god of horror and war and misery; a god that demands blood sacrifices - animals and children and his own son.  A god invented by violent people during a violent time as an excuse to do horrible things to their fellow humans.

And it’s fucking NOT a Great Story for Children.  ~JJ

thehungryhungryemo:

teachthemhowtothink:

godlessmen:

Noah- A Biblical Magellan!

*wish I could fix the misspelling of obscure, but oh well.*

That was so very nice of him, wasn’t it?  And he was… what?  Like 600 years old at the time, too!  No wonder he gets drunk and lies around naked when he’s done.  In full view of his sons.  And then curses one of them for seeing his wang (yeah, I totally used the word wang) and not covering it up, which is then used as… *drum roll* … justification for slavery hundreds of years later!

And this is after his god commits a mass genocide of every living thing on earth, of course.  But don’t worry, the rainbow made it All Better.

Great Bible Stories for Children 101.

Wait what if this was in the time of Pangaea? You know so he didn’t have to spread em all over. The animals I mean. Not his legs.

Most young earth creationists believe the continents separated during the flood.  Because 370 days is all it takes FOR GOD to move mountains, duh.  (Please don’t ask me how I know this.)

So Noah still had to float around and drop them all off again.  After the ark got lodged in a mountain.  Hmm….  Or maybe space aliens helped?  Probably the same ones that assisted in making the pyramids.

godlessmen:

Noah- A Biblical Magellan!

*wish I could fix the misspelling of obscure, but oh well.*

That was so very nice of him, wasn’t it?  And he was… what?  Like 600 years old at the time, too!  No wonder he gets drunk and lies around naked when he’s done.  In full view of his sons.  And then curses one of them for seeing his wang (yeah, I totally used the word wang) and not covering it up, which is then used as… *drum roll* … justification for slavery hundreds of years later!

And this is after his god commits a mass genocide of every living thing on earth, of course.  But don’t worry, the rainbow made it All Better.

Great Bible Stories for Children 101.

(via skepticalavenger)

And never forget the bears (2 Kings 2:23-24)

And never forget the bears (2 Kings 2:23-24)

(via holygoddamnshitballs)

I realized I had always had the Bible served up to me piecemeal and in sections. It had been edited! Severely edited! It was quite different reading it as an adult. As an adult, you could begin to see the whole puzzle. As an adult, it was disturbing.

For example, when I read about the flood as a kid I didn’t think about the fact that god killed everyone just because he was angry - just DROWNED THEM ALL because he thought they were all bad - which you have to assume included a lot of kids and unborn fetuses..which I guess was okay with god… but then I was relieved to hear that god comes to Noah after the flood and he says, “You know the whole flood thing? It might have been a big mistake.” And he promises that he’ll never do it again.

And that was another surprise! God has regrets?

Julia Sweeney (Letting Go of God)

Filed under Great Bible Stories for Teens.

Or maybe RYFB?

Asker catbuttcat Asks:
A while back you said that Islam wasn't a race (which is true!), remember that post? And you added that Islam was very unnerving to you, or something like that. Mind telling me what it was you happened to read about that made you think that? I've read extensively (many years and sources) about Islam and honestly is doesn't seem any worse than Christianity. In fact, they don't seem that different to me at all.
teachthemhowtothink teachthemhowtothink Said:

Hi!

The post you are referring to was actually written by Meg on The Thinking Atheist’s facebook page (for those who are curious, you can read the post HERE on my site or on facebook HERE - scroll down to February 6th).  It was strongly worded and was written in response to the five year old little girl who was raped and beaten by her own father.

I didn’t comment on the post other than saying I agreed with Meg - that people defending Islam because it was “racist” to speak out against it are despicable. 

I agree with you.  Islam as a myth is no worse than Christianity… both have their own horrors and taken to an extreme either one can be used to justify atrocities.  Both are extremely misogynistic.  Both promote immoral behaviors (think murder, rape, stoning, abandoning one’s family, etc.).  Both demand complete adherence or suffer the wrath of god.

People often use the “kill the infidels” lines from the Qur’an to show just “how much worse” Islam is… but the Bible okays killing people that work on the sabbath and stoning blasphemers to death as well.  So really?  Not much of a difference.

Thanks for the question Jess! ~JJ

I desperately want to tag this with &#8220;Read your fucking Bible&#8221; but someone told me that sounds a little too harsh&#8230;
Perhaps &#8220;Know Your Bible&#8221; or &#8220;Biblical Morality&#8221; or &#8220;This isn&#8217;t Love&#8221; or &#8220;The Bible for Beginners&#8221; would be better?  What do you think?  ~JJ

I desperately want to tag this with “Read your fucking Bible” but someone told me that sounds a little too harsh…

Perhaps “Know Your Bible” or “Biblical Morality” or “This isn’t Love” or “The Bible for Beginners” would be better?  What do you think?  ~JJ

Let me tell you a secret:  They&#8217;re both myths.
Want to know something great about secular parenting?  A child who has not been indoctrinated into a religion can easily recognize this.
Daedalus and Icarus escape with wings, Moses escapes by parting a sea, Eurydice (almost) escapes the Underworld with Orpheus&#8217; music.  
Interestingly, Greek myths tend to use human ingenuity and wit to thwart the villain&#8217;s plans (with occasional intervention by the gods).  Bible stories almost exclusively rely on a daddy figure to sort things out - nothing can be accomplished without the god&#8217;s okay and help.
Personally, I find the Greek myths WAY more appealing in a literary sense and as an educational tool.  But, they&#8217;ve been adapted and edited thousands of times and I would guess only the best stories ended up in the books.  Perhaps several hundred years from now, future generations will have edited texts of &#8220;Bible Myths&#8221; to entertain them as well.
Here&#8217;s hoping.  ~JJ

Let me tell you a secret:  They’re both myths.

Want to know something great about secular parenting?  A child who has not been indoctrinated into a religion can easily recognize this.

Daedalus and Icarus escape with wings, Moses escapes by parting a sea, Eurydice (almost) escapes the Underworld with Orpheus’ music.  

Interestingly, Greek myths tend to use human ingenuity and wit to thwart the villain’s plans (with occasional intervention by the gods).  Bible stories almost exclusively rely on a daddy figure to sort things out - nothing can be accomplished without the god’s okay and help.

Personally, I find the Greek myths WAY more appealing in a literary sense and as an educational tool.  But, they’ve been adapted and edited thousands of times and I would guess only the best stories ended up in the books.  Perhaps several hundred years from now, future generations will have edited texts of “Bible Myths” to entertain them as well.

Here’s hoping.  ~JJ

My son:  Isn’t it weird that we’re dead and then we come to life and then we’re dead again?

Me:  Huh?  What do you mean?

My son:  We’re dead.  And then we come to life.  And then we die again.

Me:  What do you mean we’re dead and then come to life?

My son:  When we’re an egg.  We’re… like… dead.  But then we COME TO LIFE.  It’s pretty cool.

Me:  OH.  Yes, I suppose it is kinda like that, isn’t it?

My son:  We’re like those Bible stories!  What’s that word again?  When you’re dead but then you come to life? 

Me:  Resurrected?

My son:  Yeah!  We’re resurrected!

Me:  I don’t think that quite fits the definition, but I like where you’re going with it.  I believe to be resurrected you have to be alive, then dead, then alive again.

My son:  Oh!  Like when we die and then we come back to life as grass?

Me:  Hm.  I’m going to have to ponder that one for a bit.

Asker hellahalla Asks:
When I was questioning my "faith" (was never too religious, but you know) I read the bible hoping there would be some sort of epiphany. Then I was like "OH, GOODNESS, WHY" and became an atheist. :D
teachthemhowtothink teachthemhowtothink Said:

ME TOO!  I joined a Bible study group at a Catholic church down the street from my apartment.  It was me and 8 little old Catholic ladies (some of whom would bring along their knitting).  We would talk and pray and read and discuss…

The more I read, however, the less there was to discuss.  It was more “what the hell?” than “praise the Lord.”